got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
