it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
