Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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