She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
