Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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