I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
