I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
