Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He passed out mid-signature
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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