How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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