whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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