I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize