mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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