So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
