I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize