i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
