you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize