would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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