12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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