they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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