at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
