i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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