lets start a swedish sibling band together
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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