the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
