You just made me feel so damn special
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
