Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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