every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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