Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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