why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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