You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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