At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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