Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize