The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
