Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
