I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
