God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
