dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
