We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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