i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
