I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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