How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
