And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
