Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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