we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
