I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Pappa wants mamma naked
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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