I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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