where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
