tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What drink are we having for lunch?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
