First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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