me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize