you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
