Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
