Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
