Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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