Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
