Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
