He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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