sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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