I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
