I skipped work to stalk him.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
