I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
