matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
