Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
