Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
