He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
