lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
