i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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