OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
