Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
