I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
