how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize